1st mile - Wah super karat already

My fiancee thought I should start blogging again.

It's not that I don't want to. I'm just too busy with other things. Actually, come to think about it, it's just an excuse. I am growing old and my life is becoming quite mundane which I think in a way contributes to my lack of interest, time, effort, inspiration, la, la and la in preserving a blog.

What happened to updating every single day?!! Haha I used to be one of those who whote EVERY SINGLE DETAIL about EVERY SINGLE THING I did everyday. It's quite dumb really that they're SO LONG and BORING. But at the same time it IS kinda nice to read the entries again and relive my life when it was simpler. Life's full of "mau-tern-ness"!

As time went by, it became more and more of a place where I write my thoughts instead of a documentation of my life. I started looking at it everyday, and then updating it every day. It became a place where I poured out my feelings in my quite pathetic tries to be aesthetic. Whatever it was, I went straight to by blog. Not even msn could challenge it.

When I thought I lost my phone, I blogged... When I failed my paper, I blogged... When I was studying, I blogged... When I partied, I blogged... When I went to Woolies to buy grocieries, I blogged... When I was getting ready to go out to town, I blogged..... you get the idea.

I really enjoyed it. Where else could I write my thoughts? I was too lazy to keep a diary. (I have had many attempts to keep a diary and I have also FAILED MISERABLY). I wasn't as confident as I am now in terms of speaking my mind in public. So my blog did it for me. It was easy and fun. Everyone could read it (I guess that was a motivation in itself) and it was an easier way to communicate with friends who were overseas. I also have very bad memory. I'm like Dory. 3-seconds. Seriously.

I started writing how I really felt online and I must say, some people did not like it. Some found it offensive and did not mince their words when they left their comments. It was scary- I never meant for my blog to hurt others. I just wanted to say what I really felt and after that incident, I dared not write anymore feelings when I am angered or upset. Some people could not take it.

What a stupid thing to do. As much as I wanted to please everyone I realised that was an almost impossible task. I should've be a bit braver and took their comments face on. I have a right to feel the way I do and if you had a problemwith it, go away.

I started a blog because my friends told me to. It was my first year overseas and my friends thought it was a good idea to see what was happening to me. Through the years I've lost some and ceased contact with others but my blog still here leh. Some of them still reads it I know but I think most of them have grown up and stopped. Someone once told me that blogging is for people who have no life. All they do is sit around all day and blog. I must say I really bought into all that and I thought I've out-grown blogging. Then our Prime Minister(!!!) started a blog. Then Dr. Mahathir (!!!!). Surely these people have more things to do that I?!!! Then all the news about bloggers being more powerful now la can tell people what they feel la, democracy la. WAH. It's just a BLOG. Nothing more than the feelings and narrow judgement of one individual. Really that powerful meh?

I guess it is. Nothing more powerful that the power to express what one feels. Nothing more exhilarating than watching strong comments and feelings go online without being censored or cut out. To the regular Tom, Dick, Harry and Jane, talking IS power. See la Jeff Oi our famous blogger suddenly became MP. All the other MPs have their own blogs. They also credited the tsunami election results to bloggers. We definitely have more power than before and it is all making us work more like a democratic country. yay for bloggers.

When I started, it was an innocent diary full of funny details about my life. Now even as I read it back, I realised I have so many memories in my blog and hopefully when I am old and grew it is still here and I can still read about my young life. (OH NO! that means my grandkids will read it too! super embarrassing wei!!!) Maybe I can set it to self destruct mode. Does anyone know how to do it?

Anyway, so here I am. Five years older. Hopefully wiser AND prettier (heh). I am trying to blog again. A bit rusty, but trying.